Can't Let her get Hurt
by pinkdude64
Summary: Remus falls in love by accident. He... Can't Let her get Hurt. Hence the Title. Yeah. REALLY SUPER LONG ONE SHOT. Dedicated to the real Madeleine... although you're nothing like the Mads in the story.


**A/N: Soooooo… I probably shouldn't be starting this, because I still have to finish my Victoire/Teddy fic, but I just had this idea when I was stalling early in the morning, and I then had to endure 4 hours of waiting. (And her name is pronounced like Mada-lyn)**

**Disclaimer: I'm still waiting to suddenly turn into J.K. Rowling… but I'm still me. I don't own a bright and open house in Scotland. I'm not married to Neil, and my kids (which are actually nonexistent so far) are not named Jessica, David, and Mackenzie.**

In truth, it wasn't exactly fair… for her anyway. I loved her, and she loved me, but I was full aware that it could never be serious. And I'm way happy Sirius isn't here to make his "Sirius/serious" joke. Her name was Madeleine Wells. Proving beautiful of her French ancestry, Madeleine's hair was a deep, rich brown, and the way it tossed about in the near nonexistent breeze could make me go wolfy any time of the moon phase. I know I swore to myself and the marauders, but I didn't try for it to happen, honest. It was the first Hogsmede trip of fourth year, and this idiot bloke, William Zelun, had been found snogging slutty Sovna Torni—a fifth year at the time—by Lily. Lily and Madeleine had always been kind of close, I guess. She and Lily had known each other ever since sharing a compartment second year. Anyways, I had heard Madeleine crying behind a tapestry, and told her it would be okay. Everything would have been fine, had Sirius and Peter not walked in on me cradling her face against my chest. I don't think Madeleine even looked up when they entered, but I shooed them away, mouthing agreement to explain later. From there, it went downhill. Well, not really.

We were slowly growing closer to one another. The marauders had figured out a sort of bodyguard system to keep William Zelun clear of her path—much to James' liking considering Lily felt obligated to comfort and protect her dear friend. Madeleine and I remained friends, like her relationship was with the other marauders, but I had already fallen. And hard. It very well may have been a combination of the fact that I had refused myself a decent relationship throughout Hogwarts and her beauty, or maybe our similar love for not studies, but learning. She was also… different. She knew what to care about and what to just let slide—a valuable trait when hanging with the marauders. She was aware that we were crazy and manipulative, and at the worst times, just ruthless. But she could handle it, and for the sake of James had once or twice attempted to make Lily used to us. It didn't really work, but we knew Lily would come around.

Finally, a year after the whole "William Zelun" thing, the year's first Hogsmede trip came once again. Fifth year had begun, and things returned relatively to where they had left off last June. Madeleine had been avoiding Hogsmede trips since last year, aside from the midnight outings we occasionally treated her to, and I decided to stay with her this time. Like most nerds… we ended up spending our Saturday in the library.

~*~Flashback~*~

Madame Pince returned to our table and shushed us for the third time in the past hour. Madeleine was giggling so hard her head had disappeared into her lap in an attempt to stifle the noise.

"Sorry, Ma'am. We'll be quiet," I doubtfully promised.

"Sirius doesn't actually do that, does he, Remus?" Madeleine asked.

"Mads, I wouldn't lie to you. Especially not about something as humorous as a fifteen-year-old "man" singing in a hairbrush on an almost weekly basis."

Everything was going perfect so far—a truly merry afternoon.

"Miss Wells, if you cannot keep your snickering to yourself, it would do quite well to leave at once, and allow other students to work in peace." Madam Pince was scolding Madeleine for giggling again, so we gathered our belongings silently, occasionally smirking to each other.

"Remus, why do they call you moony? You're not a lunatic, are you?" Madeleine questioned as soon as we were lounging in an empty stairwell. "It's not because you moon people, is it?"

I laughed at her silliness. And then panicked. She had never displayed interest in our nicknames before now; at least she had never expressed it to me. What did I say? I couldn't possibly tell her the truth… could I?

"Why do you want to know, Mads?"

"Because, I've been hanging out with you guys for a whole year and it's like whenever you use them, you're all sharing some secret joke. And it's not like you've had those names forever, no one called no one nothing until about a month ago."

Damn. She was smart.

"Why? Are you hoping to get your own nickname?"

"Maybe, _Moony_."

"Well then!"

I jumped behind her and scooped her closer to me by her waist, and began whispering in her ear.

"It's a very secret process you have to go through. It's not something we offer to girls, though."

"Why? Girls are just reserved for snogging, I guess?"

Spot on, Madeleine.

"Exactly."

She pouted and turned to look up in my eyes. "You won't even tell _me_?"

I swallowed my hearty laugh at her mock disappointment. Madeleine Wells was not a girl who was used to getting what she wanted. She laid her head in my lap and stared up at me, her whimper growing more and more believable. My breath stopped. I liked having Madeleine there, with her hair spread across my jeans and her arms crossed over her chest. Not for the first time, Madeleine looked stunning. It was amazing how none of the other marauders had jumped on her—except Sirius, of course. She moved her hands to my shins and began absent-mindedly caressing. My heart skipped a beat. I laid my chin on her forehead, and Madeleine suddenly stopped rubbing. She grabbed up at my jaw with two hands and looked directly into my eyes. Keep in mind that her head is still laying in my lap.

"Remus?" Her lips remained parted after finishing speaking, and hey eyes spoke determination and lust.

I bent my head down onto Madeleine's, allowing her to link her arms around my neck. We kissed. It was a very simple process—just a smooch. I backed up slightly to make eye contact. Her eyes told me to continue… as did the fact that she was turning to face me, while keeping her arms around my neck. We kissed again, more slowly this time—making sure to make the most out of it. My hands took a liking to her head of wavy brown hair, while hers steadily started to roam my back. We kissed for minutes more, presumably, before breaking to breathe. I stole a glance at Madeleine and she appeared to be in pure bliss. I returned the smile. It occurred to me that this was the first time she had kissed anyone since she and Zelun broke up. I don't think it occurred to her that this was only my third kiss ever. It was better, though. Madeleine was someone I did care about. Plus, she had passion, bizarre passion like I'd never seen from her before. Our gazes met once more, and we started up again, this time with hunger more then anything else. She had one way or another ended up perched in my lap with her arms back around me, and I had place one hand just above her knee. I began switching my thumb back and forth in a metronomic method, and I smiled when I heard her release a tiny moan mid-kiss. She started kneeling—causing me to break process, but continuing the kiss—until she was practically grinding my stomach. The jeans I was wearing started feeling a little too tight in a particular area… if you know what I mean. Her hands crept up to my caramel hair whilst mine maneuvered to her thighs, only an inch under the hem of her denim skirt.

"Maddie?" Lily's voice piped in shock.

"Remus?" James uttered with a hint of hysteria.

We broke apart. I noticed her sigh exasperatedly with a smile. She had been enjoying it. I looked around my two friends' eyes, trying anything to avoid their confused glares. It was dark in the corridor, Dinner must've been moving along by now. Madeleine giggled, followed her gazed to the sight lying ahead of us. James and Lily were there. Together. Otherwise alone. Holding… hands. With each other. Now _this_ was awkward…

~*~Flashback:End~*~

It turns out that Sirius had nominated the two of them to start a search party for us, and… who knows? Maybe they had been doing something… _else_.

Luckily for me, things didn't turn awkward between Madeleine and I. We started going out. It was all going smoothly until Christmas.

~*~Flashback~*~

"Remus?" she began.

I murmured an "Uh-huh"

"Remus… wake up!"

I jumped a bit at the sound of her voice so early in the morning.

"Madeleine? What time is it?" I asked half asleep.

"Who cares? It's Christmas!"

I opened my eyes, taking in surroundings. Madeleine was kneeling next to me on my bed. I grabbed at her pajama-clad legs and knocked her down on top of me so I could plant a warm kiss on her forehead.

"Dammit, Remus! You look like you had a rough night."

It was true, to some extent. The moon had grown full again last night, and all of my roommates had gone home for the holidays, knowing full well that I'd be plenty busy with Madeleine. Being totally alone for the transformation for the first time since August had stressed me out—clearly displayed by the tremendous amount of sweat that had been absorbed by my bed sheets last night.

"It was hot last night… I'll be fine."

I kicked the damp sheets off my body and gabbed her stomach closer to me so we could cuddle. There _were_ benefits to having a dorm alone.

"Do. You. Wanna. Open. Up. Presents. Now?" I asked in between kissing up her neck until I reached her lips.

"Not at all, Remus." Madeleine had her hands—which I swear have minds of their own—on my bare chest. What? I just woke up! "Trust me, I can wait."

She locked with my mouth once more. It wasn't long until I discovered she had ceased to put on a bra before awakening me this morning—I could tell because I was massaging her back. I kissed her furiously until her head was resting on my pillow. Madeleine reached for my hands and placed them under her oversized T-Shirt and on top of her bare stomach. It was flat and toned—very interesting for a girl who refused to play quidditch with me. Let's just say… I made it to second base.

I hugged her waist close to my stomach as she sat in my lap. We had combined our piles of presents in the Gryffindor Common room, and had plans to disgust younger students and make older students envious by displaying our adorableness right by the warmest fireplace.

Skipping the mountain made up of wrapped gifts and parcels, I handed Madeleine two purple boxes with her name marked on them.

"For you, Mads."

She took them while smiling straight at me, and began unwrapping the longer of the two.

"Remus, I love it!"

She snogged me senseless before examining the gift once more. It was a gold necklace with a medium circle pendent. On the pendent were her initials: MEW.

"That's right," I said with realization. "You're Mew, that can be your nickname."

She swatted at my gut and then reached up to kiss in apology.

"Here," I told her. "Let me."

It was way too cliché for my liking, but I knew that it would make her heart do a back flip, so I reached around her and latched it in place, making sure the monogram was facing upwards.

"Here. Now open the next one."

I picked up the other package and handed it to her with a smirk. I knew that she would enjoy this one.

It was an enchanted bookmark specifically designed for bookworms, all wrapped up in tissue paper.

"Oh, Remus."

It was a pleasant gasp hinted with unquestionable love.

"It can track how much you've read down to the character, and if you use the proper spell, it can keep record of annotations," I informed her.

In appreciation, I received two arms encircling my waist and a firm kiss, which, er, lasted _quite_ a long time. When we finally disconnected, I had a box wrapped in red lying in my lap. It was a golden pocket watch, encrusted with rubies to form 'RJL'.

"Very funny, Mads."

"Oh, don't you like it?"

"I love it. May I ask the motivation of this particular gift?"

"Why, because you're always late!"

We doubled over laughing until I squeezed her in a hug ending with a very romantic kiss on my part, thank you very much! It was a joke that had been found quite funny to Madeleine. McGonagall had told me first transfiguration class that I could do myself well by purchasing myself a pocket watch. Basically, I've been late one time my entire life, and before fourth year, the only conversations Madeleine and I had were about the one day Remus Lupin was not exceptionally perfect in every way.

"C'mon, Mads, let's play in the snow."

We had finished opening the rest of our presents. James gave me a book I had read, Sirius gave me a book I had read, and… Peter gave me a book I had read. This was some strange idea we had concocted first year for Christmas presents. Essentially, we gave each other the exact same copy of the exact same gift every year. It just erases all complications when thinking up gift ideas.

Madeleine and I dressed in winter gear and sprinted—well as fast as we could with big coats—into a massive snow pile. The sow was actually falling when we got out there, so I held Madeleine's gloved hands with my gloved hands and kissed her sweetly in the snow. Still a kiss in the rain… just with a different phase of matter.

Happiness over came for the rest of the day. We participated in a huge snowball fight that I think even Albus Dumbledore was in! All went fine until night came. The feast had finished and Madeleine and I were snuggling together on the puffy couch by the fire. And…maybe snogging….Luckily, we were the last left in the Common Room.

"Mads, I'm gonna go to bed."

"Remus… wait."

Madeleine planted me with one last kiss on my lips before sitting up straight and smiling at me. What was she doing? I had to get out of here before the moon came out in full!

"Remus… I love you."

…What in the name of Merlin's tight pants just happened?

"—But, you know, if you don't love me… that's totally okay!"

I could hear her false happiness from that last phrase with the fibers in my fingertips, so I reached for her cheeks and pulled her into a passionate kiss. When we broke apart, I held her perfectly still, and whispered as huskily as I could, "I love you, too."

Madeleine beamed at me and pulled me into a bone-breaking hug. The roots in my hair began to ache terribly. Shit.

"Mads, I love you! But I have to go."

I gave her one final kiss for the night, and sprinted towards the portrait hole. My nails were beginning to tingle vibrantly. Curse the girl's speed, Madeleine beat me to it.

"Remus? Where are you going?"

She wasn't angry, but more hysteric and confused. Worst of all, she had my arms pinned to my sides. My back arched in reaction to the jitters crawling up and down my spine. This couldn't be happening, I had to get out of here—away from Madeleine.

"I'll explain tomorrow, I promise! Go and get some sleep, and stay away."

I broke free of her feeble grip and raced out. I couldn't let her get hurt.

It was awkward. Finally. For the first time since Lily and James had walked in on us snogging, Madeleine made me feel awkward. We were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, but not together. She was avoiding me. She never avoided me.

"Um…Madeleine? Can we, talk?"

Thankfully, all of Madeleine's roommates had left as well.

"Why?"

"I told you… I wanted to explain."

"Fine. Talk."

"Not here… it's big news."

Madeleine looked up at me and I could tell she was hurt, but also unsure of whether or not I was trustworthy. I reached down and hugged her tightly, ignoring her protests and attempts at slapping my back to death. Eventually, she just gave up and started to sob in my arms. Part of it was so reminiscent of how I comforted her last year, but I knew now was different. Now, I could fix it—I had the chance—and I could tell she was more confused and upset than angry.

"C'mon, Mads, lets go."

~*~Flashback:End (finally) ~*~

I told her all of it—especially the bit about our nicknames. She didn't react much, just listened patiently. When I had finished, she turned and snuggled into my lap—I am starting to think that she has some weird kink with my lap…. I was hesitant at first, but eventually I kissed her forehead like I used to. She smiled up at me and we agreed that we still love each other.

In due time, students returned and classes reassumed. Most of our time was taken up with prep for O.W.L.S., but Madeleine and I still managed to snog every day. I thought she might have hidden from me or not want to be with me for the latter half of the month, but she kept on snogging and snuggling and loving me just the same. Which, unfortunately, was exactly the problem. If anything, I was too happy, and I couldn't allow Madeleine to get her hopes up.

So I broke it off after O.W.L.S.. It was maybe a half hour after Snape got his knickers turned up and down. It killed me to do it, but I had to. Sirius and Peter didn't understand, but James knew exactly what I was talking about. I just couldn't let Madeleine get hurt.


End file.
